Review: Klondike Slim-a-Bear 100 Calorie

Do not buy Klondike Slim-a-Bear 100 Calorie bars. Oh, they taste fine. Basically like a miniature Klondike though the ice cream isn't quite as sweet or creamy.

What really has me ticked off are the size and price. They're so measly. 39 grams! That's about 60% smaller than a regular Klondike.

You think that's going to be a satisfying dessert? Well, neither does the brand, which is why it recommends two bars per serving.

One serving = two bars? Who does that? Jerks.

Click here to access Klondike's super laggy website complete with stupid Secret Man Cave novelty. Go to the product pages and you can access the ingredients and nutrition facts by clicking on the picture. Each bar contains 100 calories, 6 grams of fat (5g saturated), 2 grams of fiber and 8 grams of sugar. Don't be fooled by the 100 calorie shtick; this is not a diet food. Just consider the first ingredient in the chocolate coating: coconut oil.

I bought a box of eight mini-mini Klondikes for around $3.50, which is terrible deal considering it contains 50% less compared to a regular six-pack of Klondike bars. I know I'm short on words here but frankly Klondike Slim-a-Bear 100 Calorie bars aren't worth the effort. They basically shrunk its product, made it taste not as good, slapped a "healthy" gimmick on the title and charged full charge. What a ripoff. Screw this product.

Review: California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust Margherita

Today's fun facts: the margherita pizza is named after a late 19th-century Italian queen and the tomato, basil and cheese toppings represent the colors of the Italian flag. The more you know.

Anyhoo last time California Pizza Kitchen disappointed with one of its signature dishes, the Crispy Thin Crust BBQ Recipe Chicken pizza. But I love pizza so here's a second chance CPK. Don't fail me now.

The instructions suggest preheating your oven to 400 degrees. Remove the pizza from its clear plastic wrap and cardboard plate then place it directly on the center rack. Bake 12 to 14 minutes or until the cheese melts. CPK doesn't recommend using a cookie sheet or pizza stone.

This 11" pizza looks delectable right out of the oven, doesn't it? The thin crust turned out much better than last time. Amazing when pizza dough doesn't taste like rugged pita chips. It's not quite crispy in the middle but that's a minor quibble. Already things are looking up.

The shredded mozzarella and reduced fat mozzarella cheeses are definitely my favorite part of this Margherita pizza. They come in little mounds and melt down into little clumps of gooey goodness. It boggles the mind something from the freezer could cook up such great tasting cheese.

Now, here's where I complain abut said cheese. Not about the fresh flavor but rather its lack of coverage. The parts where the mozzarella melts are a joy but there's a lot of places where the crust is completely bare. Those parts kinda suck. In fact, this entire pizza lacks flavor. But hey, no surprise it's a margherita pizza. These things are supposed to taste mellow!

The diced tomatoes are really good. Cooking dries out the skin but the flesh stays soft and juicy. They can't save this dish from a lack of flavor but I applaud the effort. The grated Parmesan cheese has a minimal presence. The basil is also difficult to taste but there's so much sprinkled around I'm sure it's working in the background. Same for the extra virgin olive oil; it's a bit player.

Click here for the ingredients, nutrition facts and other information. 1/3 of this pizza pie contains 290 calories, 13 grams of fat (5g saturated and .5g trans), 520mg of sodium and 13 grams of protein. Every serving also contains modest amounts of cholesterol, fiber, Vitamin A and iron. Not surprisingly this pizza is an excellent source of calcium.

California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust Margherita was on sale for $4. If you're in the mood for a simple, rustic pizza with a thin crust then go ahead and try this out. The lack of toppings prevents me from giving a full-fledged recommendation.

Weekend Wrap #9

What to expect this month:
It's a been almost a year and a half into this endeavor. I'm happy to report February brought in the most visitors and page views in Frozen Food Journal history. Thanks to everyone for reading the blog, subscribing to the RSS Feed and stumbling over here from search engines. Makes me a little misty-eyed just thinking it all.

Of course I refer to all the weeping I've done while spending so much time on chocobars and pizzas. But anyway...

As fate would have it March is National Frozen Food Month. The National Frozen & Refrigerated Foods Association (or NFRA and my buddies and I like to call it) has a sweet penguin logo. To honor National Frozen Frozen Food Month expect product write-ups for California Pizza Kitchen, Healthy Choice, Hungry-Man, Klondike, Michael Angelo's and maybe a couple more brands.

Frozen food review:
St. Patrick's Day is just around the corner and you know what that means. Yes, McDonald's Shamrock Shake is making its annual comeback. Read my take for the reasons you shouldn't buy this seasonal green sludge. It might cure your post-parade hungover but that's about it.

-Ken

Review: Mars M&M's Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches

After savoring a Nestlé Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich I was still in the mood for chipwiches. The next time I went to the store I scooped up Mars M&M's Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches.

M&M's, cookies and ice cream. Sounds like a slam dunk winner. Too bad the ball clanks off the rim. Oops!

What really ruins this frozen dessert is cake-like and crumbly cookie texture. They're so fragile I actually needed a plate to collect all the crumbs that would've hit the floor. Yet these cookies also stick to my fingertips.

So fragile it breaks apart after every bite but swampy enough to entrap human flesh. Worst of both worlds. As for this flavor this chipwich comes off like a mix between a sugar and chocolate chip cookie.

On the plus side there's plenty of M&M's minis peppered throughout the cookies. Every bite will lead to that familiar candy-coated chocolate. The ice cream resembles firm icing on a cake. It's soft with a little resistance and not much flavor to speak of.

Click here for M&M's ice cream product page. Click on the second link for the nutritional information and a pair of nutrition facts should pop up. Because I bought the six pack of chipwiches let's take a closer look at the numbers on the right. The information printed on the box are slightly different than those listed online. But really we're talking about one or two percentage points. Anyway, each chipwich contains (about) 220 calories, 10 grams of fat (five of which are saturated) and 20 grams of sugar.

A box of Mars M&M's Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches was on sale for around four bucks. They were affordable but the sloppy construction really distract and it's not so delicious that I have to buy this again. They're definitely not going to become a part of my regular rotation.

Review: Ben & Jerry's Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream

Vanilla ice cream with fudge covered waffle cone pieces and a caramel swirl.

If that sounds tempting then have I got some good news! Ben & Jerry's Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream is right up your alley. It won't make your laugh or have you feeling overly patriotic but this might be one the best ice creams you'll try.

It all starts with the base. The dreamy vanilla is built upon a buttery and oh-so-decadent foundation of cream, skim milk, liquid sugar and other all-natural ingredients.

Scattering throughout the pint carton is a generous portion of fudge-smothered waffle chunks. They're absolutely delightful! The waffles provide a thick crunch and coating them with chocolate only makes matters more awesome.

The final component of this awesome trinity is the big streaks of creamy caramel. What makes the caramel click is it tastes a little salty and thereby intensifies the chocolate and vanilla flavors. My only problem was near the bottom of the carton there were gobs of caramel. It's best when it plays a supporting role instead of being the star.

But kudos to the taster testers at Ben & Jerry's for finding textures and flavors that mix and match so well. Try to savor this ice cream slowly. Because it's so rich it's easy to overindulge and you could wind up with a stomach ache like me. I was considering this a negative but then again, if a dessert is so delicious that is causes you to overeat... I suppose that's a good thing?

Click here for the ingredients, nutrition facts and a much better picture than mine. Each 1/2 serving contains 280 calories, 15 grams of fat (10g saturated), 60mg of cholesterol and 24 grams of sugar. To put that in perspective that's 20% of your daily fat and cholesterol, 50% saturated fat and a lot of sugar. Positives include four grams of protein and modest amounts of Vitamin A and calcium.

For the sake of this blog I'll keep trying other Ben & Jerry's flavors, but wow, Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream is a huge winner in my book.