Monday, June 29, 2009

A Taste of Recovery From Dreyer's

80 years after introducing Rocky Road to a depressed America Dreyer's has invented a new flavor for a recessed country.

Introducing Red, White and No More Blues! Creamy vanilla ice cream with fruity swirls of blueberry and strawberry. It's part of Dreyer's Slow Churned Light Ice Cream line and available for a limited time.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Hungry-Man Contest and Coupons

If one of your hobbies is taking pictures of yourself while gorging on outrageous quantities of food... get some professional help. And after that quick stint in rehab go ahead and relapse with the I Am THE Hungry-Man? contest:

Entrants log onto www.hungry-man.com and submit a photo of themselves feasting on Hungry-Man meals, along with a description of what makes the entrant the Hungry Man.

The person who grosses out impresses the most gets $1000, becomes the official "Hungry-Man Dude Food Consultant" and will star in a future online video. I'm guessing a female won't be winning this...

Ten runners up receive $50 and everyone who enters gets coupons for free Hungry-Man dinners. Contest ends December 15th, so there's plenty of time to come up with a winning submission. Personally I like the idea of someone tossing like five Hungry-Mans (Hungry-Men??) into a blender and drinking the whole thing.

Winner winner, chicken dinner indeed.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Review: Dreyer's Fruit Bars Strawberry

After a couple weeks of rain and temperatures in the 70's I'm happy to report that Southern California finally remembered where it was. And when the mercury rises what better way to cool down than with a nice refreshing popsicle?

To prepare Dreyer's Fruit Bars Strawberry heat it on high for four minutes in the microw... oops, sorry. I'm used to describing TV dinners. What you really do is tear away the plastic wrapper and enjoy this fantastic frozen treat.

First off, the taste. It has an excellent strawberry flavor. A tad too sweet actually. For some reason this fruit bar reminds me of a cross between a condensed smoothie and a frozen soda. It's probably because the texture isn't icy but rather feels a bit like cold carbonation on the tongue. There's no fruit chunks although you'll find the occasional seed here and there.

Click here for the nutrition facts and ingredients. This is a nicely-sized strawberry bar and worth only 80 calories, though 20 grams of sugar might give some people pause.

Dreyer's Fruit Bars Strawberry earns a strong recommendation. This is precisely the kind of high quality stuff you want to sit in the shade with and enjoy during the dog days of summer.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tina's Burrito Wants to Give You Free Food

Missed your chance to get some free Tina's Burritos? If you live in the Los Angeles area here's a second chance. Camino Real Foods is creating a Consumer Testing Panel to try out new flavors and products currently being developed. Full details are posted on the Tina's Burrito Facebook page:

So do you want to participate? Well, if you do, you MUST meet these guidelines:
1. You MUST live in the Los Angeles area (that's where we are located).
2. You have to like burritos.
3. You must become a fan of our page to participate.

If you do not live in the LA area and would still like to participate, please send us your information and we will contact you when we do out of area testing

To join our database of product testers, simply become a fan of Tina's Burritos, and e-mail us today at marketing@crfoods.com
In your email, please include the following:
1. Your Name
2. Zip Code
3. Age
4. Gender
5. Favorite Tina's Product


Yours truly lives in LA and certainly likes burritos. Trying to be an objective voice I have a problem with the condition of becoming a Facebook fan so I will pass on this offer. But that means there's a better chance you can steal my free food take my place.

Also Tina's Burrito has a started a Twitter page where it will provide followers with exclusive contests. So Tina's has not only converted back to its original recipes but it is prepared to branch out into new tastes and technologies. Things are looking up for frozen burrito lovers.

Review: Lean Cuisine Ginger Garlic Stir Fry with Chicken

Expectations for Lean Cuisine Ginger Garlic Stir Fry with Chicken were low heading in. Though brown rice is a personal favorite I presumed the rest of this frozen entrée would be a flat collection of ingredients smothered in a goopy garlic sauce that would inevitably leave me with bad breath.

I was wrong.

We'll get to the specifics in a bit. First, how to cook the darn thing. The instructions say to heat on high for five minutes. I recommend giving the meal a good stir midway through.

When Ginger Garlic Stir Fry with Chicken emerges out of the microwave one is met with a colorful array and a lot of intrigue in every bite.

So let's start with the snap peas. A bunch of these sweet little green things are strewn about. I really enjoyed them as an alternative to the pedestrian variety of vegetables found in most frozen meals. Speaking of which, the broccoli and carrots are nothing special. The mushy red peppers are even worse.

Also scattered throughout are white meat chicken cubes. They're quite dry and flaky, almost like fish. Nice to have some chicken flavor but there's a lot of room to improve. The meat and veggies sit atop a fluffy bed of bleached brown rice. Good stuff.

Everything is covered by a ginger sauce made from a combination of sugar, soy sauce, ginger puree and chili garlic sauce. It's surprisingly mild Asian flavor and hey, no bad breath. Although there's a lot of layers in this entrée because all the gentle flavors everything works well.

Click here
for the nutrition facts and ingredients. Clocking in at 290 calories along with 4 grams of fat and fiber this meal is a good choice for people on a diet. Those looking to lower their salt intake, however, should probably stay away considering 640mg of sodium isn't to be scoffed at. High sugar is another problem; as much as half a can of cola. Positives include being an excellent source of protein and Vitamin A and C as well as a good source for potassium. This product is worth 5 Weight Watchers Points.

Lean Cuisine Ginger Garlic Stir Fry with Chicken is nutritious and delicious albeit a little thin for most appetites. Consider me a fan -- and pleasantly surprised.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Father’s Day Frosty Weekend at Wendy's

Head down to Wendy's this Father's Day Weekend (June 20-21) and for every Frosty product sold Wendy's will donate 50¢ to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

A Wendy's Frosty is among the best fast food milkshakes around, right up there with the ones at McDonald's and In-N-Out Burger. In fact, it's waaaay better than the Shamrock Shake. Plus a chocolate Frosty is a great dipping sauce for french fries. Crazy but true.

So head down to Wendy's on Saturday or Sunday and buy a Frosty. This will accomplish three things:

Help out a good cause? Check.
Leave you with a heart full of warm fuzzy feelings? Check.
Leave you with a stomach full of of cool chocolate/vanilla goodness? Check.

It's a win-win-win situation. Michael Scott would be proud.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The One Who Writes Frozen Food Journal

At long last I've gotten around to writing the mandatory "About Me" post. Various aspects of my life are sprinkled throughout this blog but I thought I'd create a more convenient place for readers to learn more about the handsome and witty champion of Frozen Food Journal.

My name is Ken. I live in Southern California and started Frozen Food Journal in September 2008 as a way to share my thoughts and opinions on all the wonderful (and not so wonderful) foods and drinks found in freezers. Because I eat some form of frozen food virtually every day I consider myself a pseudo-expert on the subject.

Frozen Food Journal had humble beginnings. It started with a Word document to keep track of products I liked and hated. Eventually I decided to post my thoughts online and share my genius with the world. And so here we are. I don't work for the food industry or advertising. I'm just some dude who likes ice cream and happens to know how to tinker with Blogger.

I have a StumpleUpon account where you can follow some of my favorite websites and interests. Otherwise drop me an email with questions, comments, compliments, advertising inquiries, free stuff or whatever.

-Ken

Review: Stouffer's Grilled Chicken Italian Panini

I don't have a corner bistro in my neighborhood. At least I don't believe so. Let's see... there's a Mexican supermarket, a liquor store and one really seedy car dealership. Yep, no dice. So when I want the flavor of a corner bistro I head to the supermarket and grab some Stouffer's from the freezer section. Of course.

When it comes to sandwiches I'm more of a "let's hit up Subway and grab some $5 footlongs" kind of guy. But then again anything with bread, meat and cheese makes me happy. Especially when it's hot, so I was more than happy to try Stouffer's Grilled Chicken Italian Panini.

Here are the CliffsNote cooking instructions:

1) Open film pouch to remove plastic from panini halves and REVOLUTIONARY GRILLING® Tray.

2) Flip the box upside down to create a platform. Place panini halves and tray on top.

3) Align panini halves along the vertical indent in the REVOLUTIONARY GRILLING® Tray. Cook on high for around 3 minutes. Let stand 30 seconds.

In fact, let it stand longer than that. Panini will be hot! The RG®T is nothing more than a circular silver disk (like the kind included with most frozen pizzas) with indentations to create grill marks. So... not so revolutionary Stouffer's. But it does a swell job of grilling.

The sandwich comes on Italian white bread. I'm not sure what the difference between Italian white bread and regular white bread is. Possibly the fact it's made from a combination wheat, barley and sour dough flour that is then formed into two thick, chewy and buttery slices. Definitely keep napkins on standby.

This panini is loaded with ingredients, starting with grilled white meat chicken. The pieces have a good taste despite being a bit on the dry side. Melted provolone cheese, grilled onions, green peppers and red peppers round out the toppings. The cheese literally is the glue that keeps the band together. No Yokos in the group. All in all it's a satisfying blend even though it is a bit on the mild stuff. Nothing here really pops the taste buds, which isn't the worst thing for a hot sandwich. But usually when I think of Italian cuisine bold flavors come to mind.

In this grilled panini is an ingredient I've never heard of: vesuvio sauce. It's made from vesuvio seasoning (that helps), vinegar, sugar, garlic, spices and olive oil. I'm guessing it's what really makes this dish Italian. Unfortunately the vesuvio sauce gets buried beneath all the other food.

Click here for the nutrition facts. Grilled Chicken Italian Panini is high in fat and sodium (at least 25% for both). It does provide a smattering of fiber, vitamins of minerals in addition to providing 20 grams of protein.

Stouffer's slogan is "every dinner should feel this good." Grilled Chicken Italian Panini is really greasy and could use some additional kick, so it feels merely all right. It certainly is no James Brown.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Best Grocery Credit Cards

Originally posted on October 1st, 2008

Let's face it, we're living in tough times. From Wall Street to Main Street everyone is feeling the fiscal pinch. It may not officially be a recession but it sure feels like one. Many folks have already cut back on spending to make ends meet, but there's still the daunting task of paying for everyday purchases. Necessities like gas, food and utilities are taking an increasingly bigger chunk of people's paychecks.

Despite all the bad news there is a silver lining, however slim. While certain expenses are unavoidable there is a way to at least reclaim some of your money. And it comes from a source that might surprise some people: credit cards. If you're old enough and can afford to pay the balance each month there's no reason you shouldn't own a rewards or cash back credit card. Used responsibly a credit card offers an array of benefits:
  • Pay later. There is usually a 20-day grace period to pay off the balance interest-free.
  • Build a credit history. Prove to lenders you're fiscally responsible.
  • No need to carry wads of cash or loose change. Stay organized and sanitary.
  • Added security with fraud protection and extended warranty coverage.
Rewards and cash back credit cards provide all the features listed above -- plus a little extra something for your wallet. Some rewards cards offer free airline miles or concert tickets. Others give out points that can be redeemed for gift certificates, free hotel stays and other perks. And cash back cards are just that -- cards that return a small percentage of the purchase price back to the owner's account.

There are hundreds if not thousands of rewards and cash back credit cards to choose from. Yet no two cards are exact. Different programs exist for different people. Spending habits of a truck driver aren't the same as those of a work-at-home entrepreneur. The former would benefit greatly from gasoline discounts while the latter would prefer extra savings on office supplies. Luckily there's a credit card for almost everyone.

No matter who you are or what you do chances are you buy groceries. In fact, it's safe to assume most people spend a lot of money at supermarkets. Credit card companies know this, which explains why so many of them offer rewards for this specific spending category. But what companies and cards can save you the most money on groceries?

When it comes to credit cards always read the fine print. Understand the terms. That way there are no surprises. Like the fact warehouse clubs such as Costco and Sam's Club are not considered supermarkets. They either have their own category or are simply not considered everyday purchases. These conditions may change the card that is right for you.

I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do have some knowledge on this topic. I've spent many hours researching this very subject for myself. So without further ado here's my list for the best rewards and cash back credit cards for buying groceries at the supermarket:

Last Updated: 6/15/09

Chase Freedom Visa Card

  • Receive a $50 gift card after you make your first purchase
  • 3% cash back in rotating categories like gas, home improvement and department stores.
  • 1% cash back for every $1 you spend on all other purchase
  • Up to an additional 10% Cash Back and even as much as 20% at select merchants when you shop online through Chase.
  • 0% introduction APR
  • No Annual Fee
This card, in my opinion, used to be the best overall cash back card. Unfortunately the 3% bonus no longer adjusts to a cardholder's spending habits. Now the cardholder is eligible for "quarterly reward bonuses." The extra 3% rotates for various categories throughout the year, much like with the Discover More Card. Personally I don't like financial terms to be dictated by random chance or the season. Still, this is one of the more reliable rewards cards available.


Blue Cash from American Express
  • Earn up to 5% cash back on everyday purchases - even gas!
  • 0% Intro APR for up to 12 months on purchases
  • Low Balance Transfer APR - 2.99% for 12 months
  • No Annual Fee
Here's how the AMEX Blue Cash reward system works: up to $6,500 in annual purchases cardholders receive 1% cash back on everyday purchases (gas, groceries and drugstores) and .5% on other purchases. At $6,501.01 and beyond Blue Cash members earn 5% and 1.5% respectively. While the tier system may discourage those who want a fixed cash back rate, for big spenders Blue Cash is definitely worth considering.


Pentagon Federal Credit Union Visa Platinum Gas Cash Reward
  • Earn 2% cash back on supermarket purchases
  • Earn 5% cash back from gas purchases paid at the pump
  • Earn 1.25% cash back from all purchases
  • Limited Time - 2.99% APR
  • No Annual Fee
While most credit card benefits have withered during this recession the Platinum Gas Card continues to shine. Because this card is offered by a credit union it doesn't receive much attention. That's a shame as it's one of the few cash back credit cards that has no restrictions or tiers. Rewards are automatically credited to each monthly statement: no need to redeem anything or worry about expiring points. Most cash back cards offer 1% on purchases; PenFed gives an extra quarter point in addition to providing excellent savings for groceries and gas. I love PenFed and use it as my main credit card. One drawback is that for non-military individuals there is a one-time $25 fee to join the credit union.


Capital One No Hassle Points Rewards (Excellent Credit)
  • 1 point per dollar on all regular purchases
  • 2 points per dollar on purchases at gas stations and major grocery and drug stores
  • 0% APR until May 2010; after that 13.9% APR
  • No Annual Fee
An above average rewards card that looks better as the credit crunch continues to squeeze. I don't how well the points convert to rewards but from what I've read Capital One runs a fair program. There's no limit to how many No Hassle Points you can accumulate and they never expire. No purchase APR for almost one year is very appealing.


Citi Diamond Preferred Rewards Card
  • 5 reward points for every $1 spent on purchases at supermarkets, drugstores and gas stations for 12 months; 1 point for every $1 on all other purchases
  • 0% APR on balance transfers for up to 12 months
  • No Annual Fee
The major problem with Citi rewards cards is the ThankYou Points program. ThankYou Points don't convert well into cash, which severely limits the usefulness of any Citi credit card. In a best-case scenario the Citi Diamond Preferred Rewards Card is worth keeping for a year. After 12 months there's no "point" using a card that gives back less than 1%. Also worth noting is the 0% balance transfer rate, which may be of use to those with multiple credit cards.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Review: Deluxe Fun Munch Cookies n' Cream Churned Light Ice Cream

According to Wikipedia there's some controversy as to who invented cookies 'n cream. The bigger question is why did it take until the 1970's for someone to figure out adding chocolate cookies to ice cream was a good idea? Seriously, mankind put a dude on the moon before thinking to combine cookies with ice cream. No wonder Homo Sapiens are doomed.

Which brings me to Deluxe Fun Munch Cookies n' Cream Churned Light Ice Cream. For some reason Deluxe decided to place the apostrophe after the "n" instead of before it. Also Fun Munch has been added to the name.

What makes this this version of Cookies n' Cream so fun to munch? Probably the Oreo-esque cookies. Mostly there's a slew of black specks dotted throughout the ice cream but every now and then a nice big hunk of cookie will provide a pleasant surprise.

I'm pretty sure the ice cream is vanilla, though it's hard to discern with all these chocolate asteroids clustered through the sweet and creamy galaxy. The cream flavor isn't eye-popping but rather serves as a nice base for the cookies.

Deluxe Fun Munch Cookies n' Cream Churned Light Ice Cream is really good. I haven't had the best experiences with the Deluxe brand but would happily buy this again. Plus it's a light ice cream with 130 calories, 3.5 grams of fat (2 grams saturated) and 15 grams of sugar in each 1/2 cup serving. All the more reason to dig in.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Supermarket Ice Cream Taste Test

Ed Levine of Serious Eats rates six national brands for the best-tasting supermarket vanilla ice cream. The contenders are Ben & Jerry's, Blue Bunny, Breyers, Edy's (aka Dreyer's), Häagen-Dazs and Horizon. Each is ranked based on texture, richness and flavor. No real surprise who the winner is, though a couple popular picks received mediocre marks.

Though it's not a national brand I'm still going to stick with Thrifty Ice Cream. Anyone in California will vouch for me. But honestly I don't eat vanilla all that much. It's too Plain Jane for me. I'm more into freaky deaky Rocky Road.

Even More Grocery Coupons

First were the Ralphs coupons. Next came the Tina's Burritos Coupons. Then a slew of savings in the form of Stouffer's coupons, Kashi coupons and Hungry-Man coupons.

And the hits keep coming. Yesterday I got a coupons for Marie Callender's and Healthy Choice courtesy of a Ralphs mailer:


"SAVE 50¢ when you buy any ONE (1) Marie Callender's Pasta Al Dente"

"
SAVE 50¢ when you buy any ONE (1) Healthy Choice All Natural Entrées or Café Steamers"

If I didn't love saving money so much I'd be exhausted. There's also a couple of soup coupons here that I probably won't use.

So that's that. If all goes well an ice cream review should be up tomorrow. And perhaps a special post will appear this weekend...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Let Them Eat Ice Cream Cake

Even though this is blog called Frozen Food Journal I haven't written much about my life. To be honest a guy who writes about ice creams and Lean Cuisines isn't particularly interesting. I did, however, have a frozen food-related event over the weekend and thought I'd share.

On Saturday my brother hosted a small gathering (about twenty people) to celebrate the graduations of future higher schoolers and the college bound in the group. He was in charge of making dinner. Now my bro isn't an Iron Chef or even a Copper Cook, so I ended up being duped into helping humbly offering my assistance.

What ensued in the kitchen was something out of "Dinner: Impossible." Spilt ingredients, a broken oven, maybe a few swear words. But at the end of the day (seven o'clock to be more precise) justice prevailed and dinner was served. It was a sumptuous spread consisting of:

- pizza (pepperoni, sausage, cheese and my personal favorite pineapple)
- Tyson BBQ wings
- nachos with seven-layer dip
- salad drenched with Asian dressing
- spring rolls
- fruit salad

Okay, maybe not the most extravagant meal ever made. Especially when half the food was already prepared and/or frozen. But still, give a couple guys some credit. I thought the Tyson wings were excellent. I only had a couple but they were really flavorful.

All that nutritious goodness was washed down all with a smoothie blend made from strawberries, blueberries, yogurt, banana, apple juice and ice. My family has made smoothies at home for years. Everyone seemed to enjoy them. But who knows, maybe they're all liars.

Of course, no meal would be complete without dessert. And Saturday finished with a flurry as someone brought a delectable "Congratulations!" Ice Cream Cone Cake from Baskin-Robbins. It was fantastic. Mint chocolate chip ice cream sitting atop rich Devil's Food cake with very little frosting to get in the way. Among of the best ice cream cakes I've ever had.

It's funny. I had been crazing pizza for the past few weeks... and here's what I ate over the past few days:

Friday: pizza
Saturday: pizza
Sunday: pizza
Monday: spaghetti

There's only so much tomato sauce a person can take. No mas on the Italian please...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Prize Drawing: Winners of Tina's Burrito Coupons

Drum roll please. And the winners of the Tina's Burrito Coupons are:

Jessie C. and Monica T.

Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered. Hopefully I'll have another prize drawing in the near future.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Ralphs Coupons, Stouffer's Coupons, Hungry-Man Coupons, Grocery Coupons... Let's Jut Say There Were Some Discounts

After my last trip to the supermarket I wrote I'd been having pizza cravings. To satiate my hunger I decided to buy Celeste pizzas. This week I was reminded why I don't buy Celeste pizzas that often. Blegh.

On Thursday when I visited Ralphs, a little older and hopefully a little smarter, I stockpiled ingredients to make my own pizza. Some bakery rolls, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and pineapples. Hey, I'm from Cali. I put weird stuff on my pizza. Hopefully my non-frozen creations will turn out better than Celeste's budget trash.

Also I noticed classic Tina's Burritos slowly making a comeback so keep an eye out for those. Here's another reminder to enter for your chance to win some Tina's Burrito coupons. The contest runs through Saturday so there's still time.

This week's purchases include:

Type of Frozen Food Regular Price Discount Quantity Total
breakfast
$2.49 $0.99 1
$1.50
chicken
$4.99 $1.50 1
$3.50
dinner
$5.49 $5.49 1
$0.00
sandwich
$3.79 $2.12 3
$5.00


I had a Stouffer's manufacturer's coupon so I picked up a trio of sandwiches. Also got around to using my Kashi coupon for a meal that normally costs $5.49. I love Kashi's products but this Southwest Style Chicken had better be one heck of a dish to make me want to purchase it at full price. Chicken patties and breakfast sausages round out my frozen food buys. Also picked up some Crystal Light lemonade (the unofficial drink here at Frozen Food Journal) and used a Ralphs coupon to save a buck.

But that's not where the coupon madness ends. Oh no. As I dragged my hoard back to the Frozen Food Journal laboratories I checked my mailbox. Lo and behold:


Hungry-Man coupons. And the circle of life continues.

-Ken

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Review: Smart Ones Morning Express English Muffin Sandwich

I was contacted by an ad agency to try out a new line of breakfast foods from Smart Ones. Here is my impartial review for Morning Express English Muffin Sandwich.

This is my fourth and final review for the Morning Express lineup of frozen breakfast foods. Memories...

I first tried the Breakfast Quesadilla, which was okay. Next was the Stuffed Breakfast Sandwich; my favorite of the quartet. And last time I checked out the Canadian Style Bacon English Muffin Sandwich.

I'm not going to go into much detail about this particular item, the English Muffin Sandwich. It's basically the other English Muffin Sandwich minus a thin slice of Canadian bacon. The same bread that's chewy in some places and tough in others. The same spongy egg white disk (that's actually yellow in color). The same bits of pasteurized process American cheese. Also let me point out I was incorrect in my previous review; the cheese is shredded and not a single slice.

Basically this is a tasty and familiar English Muffin sandwich that, in spite of the somewhat overly unnecessary cooking instructions, offers a hot and convenient bite in the morning. The biggest complaint is the small size. Like most folks I'm really hungry after waking up. One 4-ounce sandwich just doesn't cut it. And since two sandwiches come in each $3 box this isn't a great value.

Click here for the nutrition facts. This product contains the same amount of calories as the Canadian Bacon sandwich. Since a slice of meat isn't calorie free my guess is that Smart Ones added a little extra egg and/or cheese to this version. But otherwise the numbers between the two are nearly identical. It's a low-cholesterol food thanks to the egg whites, so people watching out for their blood pressure may want to consider substituting this for an unhealthy breakfast item. This product is worth 4 Weight Watcher Points.

Overall, this English Muffin Sandwich is my third favorite of the Smart Ones Morning Express products. Ahead of the Breakfast Quesadillas but behind the other two. Unless you don't eat pork there's no reason to buy this instead of the Canadian Bacon version.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Debate Over the Worst Food in America Is Over... Sorta

Several months ago I posed the question which Baskin-Robbins milkshake was worse food in America: the Oreo Shake or the Heath Shake? Looks like the debate is over. The winner(???) by default: Oreo Shake. Baskin-Robbins finally got around to posting nutritional information for its shakes... and the Heath Shake is no longer listed. Like something out of 1984 it's been erased from history. So let's assume the Oreo Shake reigns supreme. For now. It's only a matter of time before something worse will be sucked through a straw.

Anyway, the latest Men's Health article in Yahoo! talks about making certain swaps on fast food menus to eat healthier. Promoting the latest edition in the popular Eat This, Not That! series of diet books this article specifically references the difference between a Peach Passion Fruit Blast and an Oreo Shake. Get the small fruit drink, crunch the numbers and save yourself from 2300 calories, 135 grams of fat, 200 grams of sugar and 1600 mg of sodium.

Memo to Baskin-Robbins: try to poison your customers very slowly over a long period of time instead of going for the DEFCON 1 mega nuke all at once.